Payal Tadvi Suicide Case: Here's The Entire Suicide Note

The suicide note was recovered by the forensic department on July 6.

Payal Tadvi Suicide Case: Here's The Entire Suicide Note
The Payal Tadvi suicide case has stirred the medical fraternity and bought about many changes especially in BYL Nair Hospital. It was the first hospital to have counsellors for doctors and it has been conducting workshops regularly to strengthen junior and senior doctors relationships. 

Also Read: Dr. Payal Tadvi Suicide Case: Bombay High Court To Hear Bail Pleas Of The Accused On Thursday

The three accused i.e. Dr. Hema Ahuja, Dr. Bhakti Mehare and Dr. Ankita Khandelwal have been arrested. A suicide note was recovered by the forensic department on July 6 and the handwriting has been confirmed. Following is the text of the suicide note: 

"I am really sorry mom and dad to take away my life. I know how much I mean to you all and also you are work to me, but no, at this stage everything has become unbearable. I cannot stand a minute with them. From last one year, we have been bearing them hoping one day this will end. But now I can only see the end there is no way out of it really I cannot find a way out it. I'm stuck each and every day is similar to as days are just passing off but we are moving nowhere why this is so? What is the personal thing between us that is causing you to trouble us?

I have made this decision after trying everything out. I found out no one is there to stand for us, support us in this department. In fact, it is all our fault, or we are at fault has been concluded. I have chosen this branch with all passion cause I always wanted to be a gynaecologist. I stepped into this college hoping I will get to learn under such a good institute. But people started showing their colours. Initially, I and Snehal didn't come forward and said anything to anyone. The torture continued to the level that I could not bear. I complained against them but it showed no result. The condition was similar and it was still going on. Now be it a mistake or now we are so torn apart in front of everyone, patients, staff almost every day.

Also Read: Before Dr. Payal Tadvi Suicide Case, Nair Hospital Received 4 Complaints Of Ragging: RTI

I have lost my professional life, personal life, everything because it has been declared by them that they will not let me learn anything until they are here in Nair. I have been purposely posted in PMC ward so that I cannot learn about the ANC and Gynec patients. I am prohibited from handling the labour room from last three weeks because they don't find me efficient. I have been asked to stay out of the labour room during OPD hours. Also, they asked me to do HMIS entry on the computer they do not allow me to check patients, all I am doing is clerical work. Despite putting all efforts, still the condition not improving but I am becoming mentally disturbed.

The environment is not healthy to work and I've lost hope for anything to change cause I know it won't. No output will come out if standing/speaking up for yourself. I hold Hema Ahuja, Bhakti Mehare and Ankita Khandelwal responsible for the condition of my and Snehal. What they have made is today or what they have portrayed us in front of SHO, lecturers head of unit and head did department. I have tried a lot come forward many times spoke with madam about this but nothing has been done. I literally do not see anyway. I can only see THE END. With apology to my parents and beloved ones. I don't know how Snehal will cope up with these three. I am also sorry to leave you with them."

Notably, The accused have put forward a bail plea in the Bombay High Court. 

Also Read: BYL Nair Hospital To Be The First Hospital In Mumbai To Appoint A Counsellor For Doctors' Grievances

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